2016 has been all about changing focuses and swapping priorities around.
Outside of resting and trying to take care of myself physically, I used to put writing/translation as my top priority of things to do when I had enough energy or I didn’t feel too much like crap to do something. That’s why this blog got started in 2011, actually, as a way to express this priority and its relationship in and around my health challenges.
But for this year, I decided to change that. Enough was enough. I’d reached a health plateau (before being a full-time caretaker in 2014 and the major post-caretaking health crash) and I wasn’t progressing in my recovery the way I wished to. That plateau was really comfortable, though. I could live the rest of my life like that and still have a good life, still write the stories I want to write (if in slow motion), still have good relationships and so on.
But it’s not the life I want. I want to be expand these limitations, be free to live the life I want with full recovery of my health. So towards the end of 2015 I did some reevaluating. From then on, and throughout 2016, I would put healthwork first before any writing or translating or social life or fun with friends or family connections or any of the rest of effort-inducing, spoons-depleting things. I set aside multiple days a week and specific times of day and I swapped my priorities so that if I was going to reach for something to do, if I had the energy to do something more rigorous, it would be to seek full recovery so I could have more power to do the rest of what I wanted. It’s not that health-seeking hadn’t been a priority before nor that I hadn’t worked on it before, just as it’s not like I’ve given up writing/translating completely now in order to make this happen, but my focus is completely different, what I put first is different.
And you know what? It’s paying off. I found the path I need to take to full recovery. I’m on it, and I’m making actual progress. Miracles are happening. My health is recovering. My life is changing. I picked up writing again a few months ago and my ability to write and how I’m writing and what I’m capable of writing about is changing. That’s all I’ll say for here and now. I’m a bit superstitious and don’t want to jinx it, true, but also it’s a private, vulnerable topic, and I’d rather discuss it more in detail when I’m through and can look back on the other side. So don’t ask. I’ll talk about it when I’m ready.
Life is definitely a journey, full of discoveries along the way. I’m interested to see what 2017 brings. Where I’ll be, where I’ll go, and what I’ll do.
Thanks for supporting me along the way.
Other things accomplished in 2016:
- Moved out of state
- Finished wrestling with the government
- Got health insurance again
- Rewrote/revised a lot of what I wrote in 2015
- Translated a few folktales
- Finished the rough draft of “Fairer,” which will become the e-book sequel to Persinette
- Alpha/beta-read 2 or 3 pieces
- Started a fairy garden